Our house is on the market again. Yes, I said again. How many times is this now? I don't know, I've lost count. On the market, off the market, on the market again. This time it's staying on until it sells.
We always end up taking it off the market mainly because showings are just such a hassle. You get the request, confirm it, then race around like a maniac making the house as spotless as possible. That's not easy with three young kids. Then you have to leave your house for a certain amount of time. Again, not easy with three young kids. We have required that this time be limited to one hour. You wouldn't believe how many realtors still try to schedule showings that span two hours. Honestly! It takes anywhere from two to 20 minutes for someone to look at a house. Why in the world do you need a two hour time frame? We've had many realtors tell us that even if buyers are looking at multiple houses, it is still very easy to estimate showing time and limit it to one hour.
So anyway, on to my story. Friday morning I woke up to an email request for a showing later that afternoon. I confirmed the showing. During the day I cleaned upstairs, which is easy because the kids aren't allowed up there during the day. I did as much as I could downstairs and then waited until closer to the showing time. About an hour beforehand my husband (who will now be referred to as Chad) decided to cut the grass.
So there I was, 15 minutes before show time, trying to do all the last minute cleaning, when all of a sudden the doorbell rings. What the heck? I opened the door to find the agent and her client standing there, informing me that she knew they were a little bit early, and asking to come in anyway! I managed to collect myself enough to tell her we needed a few more minutes, so she said they would just look around the back. I then told myself to smile and pulled my mouth into something that I hope did not make her think I was baring my teeth to attack.
After I closed the door, the frenzy began! I tried calling Chad but he was bouncing away on his mower, blissfully unaware. I sent him the message "THEY ARE HERE" and hoped he would feel it vibrate. Then I raced around, barking orders at the kids while I staged the house. After a few minutes Chad came in, having seen the visitors, and we flew out of the house. The were unlocking the front door as we pulled out of the driveway.
I set the timer on my phone (how long a potential buyer spends in the house is a good indication of whether or not they like it) and we pulled around the neighborhood within view of the door. We were immediately confused to see the realtor and client walking around the side of our house; it had only been about a minute. Chad asked if I thought they'd had trouble getting in and the moment the words left his lips my phone rang. It was the showing service, confirming his suspicions.
We drove back and let the realtor in. Apparently our lock box was no longer working for no apparent reason. I started the timer again and we drove back to our previous location. The moment we parked the realtor and client were already walking out. She didn't even have time to get upstairs. At least it was still early enough for the kids' dinner to be on time.
After the kids ate their very complicated dinner of Pizza Rolls, we had gone over their daily check marks, and it was finally time to bring them up to bed, the day became strange. Westen, my Chinese Crested Personal Alarm System, started barking out the window. Chad looked out and said slowly, "Uh, there are some people walking around the yard."
Sure enough, there were. A woman, a dude, and a little kid, about 2-3. Not just walking up the driveway, but literally walking all around our yard - the front, the left side, the right side. Slowly. Looking at the house, the roof, the yard itself. Huh. I just stood there looking. Then the woman started heading for the front door at the same time Chad did. He walked out and I heard him greet these strange new people who invade people's yards.
Apparently they drove a couple hours just to see our house. The woman was German and a Type I diabetic with an insulin pump and the dude was originally from New England. He was a 47-year-old detention officer. Yeah, we learned a lot about them... Chad showed them around outside and finally I just brought the kids up to get their jammies. The second I did that, of course, Chad asked if it would be ok if they came in so they could look around. I reluctantly agreed just as my three-year-old ran naked from bedroom to bedroom.
After I managed to wrangle my youngest into her Dora jammies the visitors were allowed in. They looked around downstairs with Chad while I stayed upstairs with the kids. Chad informed me later that the wife asked if the built in paper towel holder was staying with the house. They loved our tile floors. They thought the downstairs bedroom was huge and were shocked when they finally make it upstairs. We have a cape cod so the upstairs bedrooms are bigger than the master on the main floor. She was extremely excited about the closets. They lived in a house built in 1917. It didn't have any closets. She flushed the toilet. She asked me if it had two settings and I found myself cornered into a conversation about why some people don't like low-flow toilets. She asked if they could move in next week. I watched as they gazed up at the rotating ceiling fans in amazement. The only thing they didn't like was our electric stove. She wanted a smooth cook top and thought our standard burners were ancient. I had to wonder if it was all their idea of a sick joke.
They finally left, two hours after they arrived. It was the longest, strangest showing in history. Before they left they told us that they were paying off their credit card next week, and as soon as that happened they would get their approval letter. Once that happened they would buy our house. Then they got in their car and drove off. I bet we never hear from them again.
My mother-in-law asked jokingly asked if they were scoping out our house. I was totally paranoid about that for a while. My own mom asked if they were ghosts. The worst part is that the whole thing was so incredibly bizarre that I actually had to think about it.
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